


Gun Shy

by Valaks



Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: 30 minutes or less - Freeform, Alex is Dead Tired, Clearly it doesn’t stand for intelligence, Febuwhump pinch hit day 19, Flash Fiction, Gen, Major Character Death allegedly, SCORPIA AU, Sleep Deprivation, artfully incoherent on purpose, hallucinations or maybe Yassen Gregorovich lives, there is an I in SCORPIA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29585061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valaks/pseuds/Valaks
Summary: If Alex Rider was going to survive SCORPIA he would have to pull the trigger. All he needed was the right target and the right circumstances. That could be arranged.AR Febuwhump Day 19: Sleep Deprivation
Relationships: Yassen Gregorovich & Alex Rider
Comments: 7
Kudos: 89
Collections: AR Febuwhump 2021





	Gun Shy

Alex blinked and then someone was in the room with him again. Real or not real, he didn’t know. He hadn't been able to tell for days, hours, minutes... he wasn't really sure about that either. This time a fair man with blond hair was across the table from him. In the corner sat the other man still, bag over his head. His breathing had evened out from the harsh, ragged gasps of fear that had been audible when he had been brought into the room initially. 

He was probably sleeping. 

That made one of them. 

Alex couldn't remember the last time he'd been able to sleep without the sting of a shock on his skin. They had resorted to electricity to keep him awake; a sternum rub if he was being particularly difficult, which was happening increasingly. A kick or a punch was too harsh. It wasn’t meant to be torture, Nile had explained, even if it felt very much like that. There was, after all, a simple way out. 

If he wanted sleep all he had to do was shoot the man in the corner. 

He was pretty sure that much was real. Nile had repeated it enough times. Gentle and patient, as if telling Alex to grab a coat before he went outside. It was a test. There had been enough at Malogosto so far and he had passed all except the cutouts. This was their work around. Live target practice.

He shouldn’t be as surprised as he was. 

The gun sat on the table in front of him, well within arms reach of the cuffs that kept him from getting up and pacing or trying to find a way out. It could have been a blank in the gun for all he knew. His hands weren't steady enough to disassemble it, he didn't imagine. He wasn’t even sure they were capable of pulling a trigger at this stage. Not that that was an option. He was already resigned to the fact that killing  _ himself _ from a lack of sleep was a far better alternative to pulling that trigger.

"Alex." 

He looked up at the figure sitting in front of him. Oh yeah. He'd forgotten he was there. But then, he forgot a lot of things. 

"Yass’n." His words were slurred more often than not now. And for once he wished they weren't the slide of syllables together that had protected him from the worst of the punishments for being mouthy. 

He had resolved to stay quiet but that was hard when the man in front of him held the promise of answers that he so desperately wanted. Namely why he had sent him here if he knew Alex couldn’t kill. But maybe he shouldn’t ask. He wasn't even sure if the man was really here - the line between reality and his imagination had long since blurred as much as his vision.

"I thought it would be safe for you, after your father..." Yassen answered as if he’d read Alex’s mind. Alex supposed the answer made sense. His Dad had been in SCORPIA, Yassen had been in SCORPIA: maybe Yassen had just assumed that SCORPIA would use him in a different way. Spy skills were valuable and it wasn't as if SCOPRIA didn't have an intelligence wing. 

Not so intelligent if they didn't use him there. 

Maybe the ‘I’ stood for something else. 

Yassen's lip curved into a smile. “I wouldn't suggest saying that to your hosts. Your mouth has gotten you in enough trouble.” 

He shot him a sour look. Anything he said right now would probably be written off to sleep having removed what little was left of the filter he had clung to - but then again maybe that was part of the test too. “I don't know how to get out of this one.” 

“Sometimes the only way out is through.” A simple statement, and one he was familiar with from Ian. Alex trailed his eyes to the gun. One shot and he could sleep. 

“You told me not to kill. With Sayle. You said killing was for adults." 

“It is.” A shrug. “But you have made adult choices, so you get adult consequences.” There was a pause and then: "I didn't spare you with Sayle for you to get yourself killed here."

"I don’t think that's really your call now is it?" Alex groused. Yassen wasn’t the one strapped to the chair. He wasn’t the one being forced to make this choice. But then the choice would likely have been easy for him. 

"It's not," he agreed. "It's yours. If you don't kill him they will kill you - possibly by letting sleep deprivation run its course if they are patient enough to wait for you to pull the trigger; possibly in other more exciting ways. Torture is a skill taught at Malogosto. They are always looking for volunteers for the class. Many would not want to torture a child but they would do it to survive. What would you do for the same?”

He had thought he would be willing to do anything. That was what he had told himself. But he knew it was a lie: he had all but resigned himself to death in Skeleton Key when there had been no hope of escape. But when there  _ was _ \- when adrenaline was pumping through his veins and he could only focus on surviving and completing the mission - there was no risk too great. 

But now, where the danger of failing seemed utterly removed from his actions despite being very, very present, he was crumbling under the pressure. Unable to do the very simple task of lifting the pistol and turning off the safety and squeezing the trigger. The action was practically rote by now after so much time with Ross. His classmates were far ahead of him, prior experience, usually military or intelligence work having trained them. 

Alex had been denied a gun in his own work, despite Ian having taught him the basics. Ian was the main reason his scores weren’t embarrassing - even if they were still at the bottom of the class even before the human-shaped targets were introduced. But maybe that was the problem. If he had shown absolutely no talent maybe they wouldn't have wanted him to complete assassin training. Maybe they would have shuffled him off into intelligence work where he should be. Or maybe his father’s legacy would have ensured he would always be behind a scope. 

Except now. 

Because they wanted the murder to have weight, they wanted him to know he had done it and to see the effects. Behind a scope he could pretend he was in a video game. That was what had gotten him through with the rifles. With the trigger in his hand and the target - person - a few meters in front of him, it was hard to pretend that what he was doing wasn't murder. 

“It’s not as if you haven’t killed before,” Yassen broached again. 

“I have not,” Alex said heatedly; but he knew that wasn’t true either. Grief, Julius, Cray…they had all been him. Never at the barrel of a gun, but it didn’t take a gun to kill. There were other ways. Creativity and spontaneity were the friend of an assassin. Had Yassen ever had to…

“Yes, but we’re not here for me, Alex,” the man interrupted and he glared up at him.

“Are you even really here?”

Yassen shrugged. “I doubt there is anything I could do to convince you that I am or am not. Your mind is surprisingly adept at fitting a situation to suit you.” Another not so subtle stab at his history. 

“They were different,” he protested. 

“Perhaps they were in the method, but the result is very much the same.” 

Even  _ he _ couldn’t argue that. Not now at least. He had killed, what was one more if it meant staying alive or more importantly getting some sleep? “You think I can do it?”

“Of course, the only question is time. Sleep deprivation is a powerful tool. You will eventually make a choice or your body will do it for you.” 

He eyed the gun warily like it was a particularly dangerous snake sitting coiled up in front of him. It wasn't an incorrect analogy; it would kill just as surely as any venom. It might even take a piece from him if he was unlucky enough to remember this once he finally got to close his eyes again. 

“It won’t bite,” Yassen said evenly, and when Alex didn’t move, he pressed on. “The man will die whether you pull the trigger or not. Your bullet will be far kinder than the alternative, I assure you.” Nile had said much the same thing. Having it confirmed didn’t make it any easier, but he trusted Yassen more than Nile. 

Alex swallowed and then grabbed it, automatically balancing it in his hand. Perfection. Ross would be proud that even in sleep he could hold his gun perfectly. 

“I need to stand,” he realized belatedly. Shooting while sitting wasn’t something he had ever done.

"You can stay where you are,” Yassen corrected. “I imagine standing would be difficult for you right now." 

That was fair. With how the room was swimming and blurring, Alex would be shocked if he hit the man at all - standing or sitting. Instinctive shooting might be his only chance to get this right. But it was supposed to be something that happened in a flash - pick the gun up, pull the trigger, and they died. Holding the gun wasn't a part of that. He stared down at it in betrayal. 

"It's not supposed to work like this," he said mournfully, willing himself to fall into the mindset that he had occasionally slipped into on the range. 

"It's working fine, just point and shoot." Yassen made it sound so simple. It  _ should _ be simple. But it wasn’t. 

Not when the person in the corner was an enemy of SCORPIA which meant they might have been someone he knew - Wolf or Crawley or Mr. Pleasure or anyone could be beneath that hood and he would never know unless they wanted him to. Suddenly the idea of pulling the trigger was soured again, his confidence and surety shattered under the possibility of doing the unthinkable to someone who he knew, who had done nothing wrong other than to cross SCORPIA’s path and interfere with their plans. 

Just like Alex had done. 

Just like Ian had before him. 

He couldn't kill them. 

But the man who had killed his uncle… 

He had tried on board the yacht. Had failed - but Yassen had died anyway, in the end, right? Apparently not. He was sitting in this room looking none the worse for wear and that grated. Yassen shouldn’t get to survive a bullet when Ian hadn’t. Maybe Yassen was a better shot than Cray, but that shouldn’t matter at point blank range.

His eyes swung back to Yassen who was staring at him expectantly and with them came the gun. He didn’t even think about it. Just fired. 

Simple. 

Instinctive. 

He expected the hallucination to fade like the others had but this one stayed, bright red blooming across his chest. 

Shock was the only thing that registered through dark blue eyes - not the grim resignation from the first time - and suddenly the room was thrown into chaos as men flooded through the doors, bypassing him to kneel behind the table where Yassen - Yassen? - had collapsed. Words and actions too fast for his sleep-addled mind to comprehend.

“Dead,” was the first thing he heard as the action slowed and they pulled away. Which was impossible because Yassen was  _ already _ dead.

“Clean through and through to the heart,” one of the men reported. He seemed to be talking to someone over his shoulder. Alex turned to see Nile leaning up against the wall. 

He turned back to the body, now visible as the men dispersed. Pale skin but blonde hair just a shade closer to Alex’s, dark blue unseeing eyes and a neck clear of that razor edged scar. 

Not Yassen.

“Then Alex has earned his sleep. Get him rested and hydrated. We’ll go again in 24 hours.” A hand clapped onto his back. “Next time we’ll kill the target we’re supposed to,” Nile said cheerily, before he was gone again. 

Alex stared numbly, unable to take his eyes away. 

“You did well,” came a voice from next to him. He looked up to see ice blue eyes staring down. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Lupin and Galimau for beta-ing because I tricked them both into helping at the same time. Am a gremlin and a traitor. They are the good people who make my unreliable writing into unreliable narration.


End file.
